Instagram Stories are easily one of the best features on social media. If they were ever taken away, it wouldn’t be hard to say goodbye to the app. There’s something irresistible about seeing what people are eating, drinking, binge-watching, or how they’re spending their day — a snapshot into everyone’s lives.
But let’s face it, most (or at least some) of the time is spent rewatching personal Stories rather than others’. There’s just something about replaying them over and over. So why is there such an obsession with watching our own Stories?
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The Looking Glass Effect
An assistant professor of counseling at Wake Forest University Dr. Allison Forti offers some fascinating insight into why people can’t help but keep watching their own short videos. She talks about a psychological concept called the looking glass self. It suggests that self-perception is shaped by how individuals believe others see them.
According to this effect, scrolling through Instagram stories isn’t just a little self-indulgence. It’s a way to shape personal identities. As Dr. Forti explains, for example, if someone watches a story where they feel they looked good or shared something funny, they might keep watching it. This helps reinforce a positive aspect of their identity, where they feel valued and accepted by others.
This idea applies to many aspects of life. It’s easy to find oneself in situations where reality doesn’t match the ideal. There might be plenty of days spent lounging on the couch, scrolling through social media, instead of doing something more exciting. Here’s the truth: sharing a polished version of life online feels like a badge of honor, especially with all the highlight reels out there.
Rewatching those carefully crafted moments shapes a sense of identity and makes it easy to believe one is the adventurous, accomplished person they show online. Deep down, it’s understood that this isn’t the full story, and there should be no guilt about it.
The Concept of Front Stage and Backstage
A professor in the Online Sociology program at Maryville University Dr. Kent Bausman connects some interesting dots to the work of sociologist Erving Goffman. Goffman, who was active in the mid-20th century, introduced the idea of dramaturgy, which compares life and social interactions to a performance on stage.
They say that when we go about our daily lives and interact with others, we’re putting on our front stage performance and presenting a version of ourselves to the world. But when we come home, we step off that stage. Goffman called this private time the backstage, where we take a moment to reflect on the day, either alone or with close friends.
Sharing positive traits online feels like a performance that brings out the real person. “Backstage is where we think about our experiences,” Bausman said. “It’s that natural time for reflection, whether we’re alone or chatting with someone, and it tends to be much more relaxed.”
Though Goffman’s ideas came before the internet, Bausman believes the concepts of front stage and backstage still apply to our digital lives, just in a different way. Nowadays, public lives aren’t completely separate from private ones. The internet allows people to see glimpses of both. The appeal of Stories — and why people enjoy sharing their own — lies in their authentic, casual nature that breaks away from the typical polished online presence.
Read also: How to Save Music on Instagram Reels & Stories
The Shift in Online Self-Presentation
This isn’t a new trend; it goes back to MySpace. But how people express themselves has evolved with new platforms. Until recently, Instagram was all about perfect, curated photos. Now, many influencers prefer a more genuine look that avoids filters and edits. Bad lighting? No problem. Selfies in messy rooms? Go for it. Unedited videos filmed in cluttered spaces? Absolutely. It’s all about keeping things real and relatable.
And that’s where Stories really shine. Bausman noted that they offer a less polished glimpse of our public selves. On a curated grid, people show their best side, while Stories reveal a more authentic version of themselves — looser and more natural. Even though it’s not a strict divide, users illustrate this well: their Stories with friends capture lively moments, and their solo clips focus on the more personal side.
Is Watching Your Own Stories a Problem?
So, is it really a bad thing to keep hitting replay on your own Stories? Just because some people think it’s a little excessive doesn’t mean everyone feels the same way. A lot of people check in on their own clips for practical reasons.
Some may rewatch their videos to make sure the music syncs perfectly with the visuals. And let’s be honest, who doesn’t like to enjoy their own handiwork after all that effort? As pointed out in a 2017 episode of The Verge podcast, Why’d You Push That Button?, sometimes it’s just about feeling bored and wanting to stroll down memory lane.
But if it starts feeling like you’re watching your own Stories way more than feels right, it might be time for a little self-reflection. If that sounds familiar, don’t worry — there are ways to pull back a bit.
Dr. Forti has some solid advice here: self-compassion. Instead of endlessly replaying your Insta Stories to boost your self-image, she suggests being kinder to yourself and acknowledging any flaws or setbacks. Think about trying some self-compassion exercises like meditation or journaling.
Reasons to Skip Rewatching Your Stories
Let’s put aside all the reasons people give for rewatching their Stories. Sure, some of you (and even experts) might say it’s to simply enjoy their own creativity or whatnot. But let’s be honest: if you keep going back to watch your own Story too much, there’s something deeper at play.
Here’s why stepping back might actually be better for you:
Enjoy the moment, don’t just capture it
How often do we get so caught up in making the perfect Story that we forget to enjoy the moment? It’s easy to lose sight of the fun while worrying about how many people will watch. Picture yourself at a beautiful beach or an amusement park. Instead of soaking in the joy, you might start doubting the experience if the views aren’t what you expected.
And what about those times you’ve snapped a pic of your meal or filmed a funny moment with friends? If the likes aren’t rolling in, it’s easy to second-guess whether it was even worth sharing. Let’s be honest: no one wants to look back and realize they were more focused on likes than living life. A photo is great, but checking views can take the magic out of it.
Stop stressing about what others think
Constantly checking who viewed your Stories can drive you nuts. If your first Story gets 200 views and the next drops to 100, it’s natural to wonder who really cares about your life. Instead of enjoying those moments, you might find yourself overthinking everything.
Keeping your experiences genuine is key. Don’t let view counts ruin the good times.
Avoid the heartache of unseen views
We all know the feeling — posting a Story and then anxiously waiting to see if a crush or friend watched it. If they don’t, it stings. Say you’re having a blast somewhere and then worrying if that one person saw your post. It’s a slippery slope that can lead to unnecessary heartache.
Ultimately, the goal is to keep those memories genuine and free from judgment. Life’s too short to let likes dictate your happiness!
Final Thoughts
There’s really no reason to feel bad about wanting to show others that you’re doing well from time to time. It’s part of being human. This instinct runs deep in our history — we’ve evolved to want to make a good impression because it benefited us in so many ways. Some experts even say our hair might have evolved to help us stand out in a crowd.
Today, while the tools we use have changed, that desire to present ourselves positively hasn’t. And it’s not just about how we dress or put on makeup anymore. It’s also about how we share our lives online. So, instead of feeling guilty about wanting to connect with others, embrace it! This desire to share and be seen is just a natural part of who we are.
But if this desire to share starts getting in the way of your everyday life or well-being, it might be a good idea to pause and reflect. What worked for us in the past doesn’t always fit our modern lives. So, it’s important to check in with ourselves about what really matters.
